2016, you haven't' really been a very good year for me. I will be 100% honest. You have taken those I loved away from me, you gave me multiple insecurities to deal with, and you have separated me from friendships and several dreams. I am writing this as I listen to jazzing blues, because that is my favorite tone of song. It somewhat resembles how I feel as I approach the end of the year.
Despite the hurtful experiences I have experienced this year, and storms of emotion, the good and the bad, I have also had moments that I can be proud of: graduating with a degree of Advanced Technology, starting my own company with a group of family members, and traveling to Asia once again to visit one of my very good friends in Indonesia (oh and not to mention attending my very first fashion week in Jakarta!)
Sometimes I really have to tell myself that this year hasn't been so bad after all .. and here's why:
I learnt how to love, and be loved
I can proudly state that the year of 2016 made me realize what type of lover I was; and no, I am not only talking about romantic relationships/love, but also other types of love I give away to friends, family members, and other things surrounding me.
I think this year was the first time for me to be in love, which is a terrific feeling from which you grow and realize the importance of many things in life; like the appreciation of time, distance and care.
I also learnt how to let others love me. I now know what to expect and what not to allow when it comes to my personal relationships with others. I know what makes me happy, and what does not. I know how to set boundaries and limits to how people can treat me, and it feels good to finally know my own standards to clearly.
I learnt that I am a sensitive person
... and there is nothing wrong with that.
Being sensitive gives me the gift of feeling deeply at good times, which is worth all the other downs I may experience. I have always been a sensitive person, ever since I was a child. I finally learnt that it is okay to be sensitive, and it shouldn't be a trait I hide or assume is a sign of weakness.
I learnt that I really look forward to motherhood
The year of 2016 suddenly gave me a change of heart when it comes to potentially raising my own children. I was initially always against the idea of becoming a mother, and I really did not know why. This year, I began to have these instincts as a woman who wishes to raise her own child someday ... not soon, but one day.
I learnt that people who enter your life, may not stay
Friends, lovers, even relatives. This can apply to any form of relationship. This is probably the most painful lessons the evolution of my life has given to me, but to learn to appreciate the moments you actually did share with a certain someone, that is what makes it less challenging to overcome the hurt and pain caused by the loss of those you once loved.
The most challenging of all: grieving the loss of somebody who is still actually alive. In cases like this, I like to shift my power to whats above me. Trust in a divine plan, and I shall be okay.
I learnt that womanhood has a lot more to offer
More than I ever thought. I really love being a woman.
I learnt that timing is very important
My parents always enforced the importance of time to my siblings and I; telling us that we should use it wisely. I have previously started learning the importance of time and its management throughout the past few years, since I began my bachelor degree and working on my own project. This year, however, I also learnt that timing is important in terms of when to do things, when to say things, and when to put your thoughts out there ...
As we slowly welcome 2017, I will not make impossible resolutions. I am actually a person who loves setting new goals for myself, and I love sticking to them. However, after 2016, I know the woman I want to become, and I am more confident in my abilities to become that woman, which is why I will trust myself and let me be naturally ...