I was often mistaken for a calm, well-kept woman. In contrast, I had a mind of danger, thoughts of horror, and a rage for freedom that often terrified me. I was falling in love with youth, but wanted nothing more than to be older. I was into the older generation, the history of art, and enjoyed the company of 50 year olds. I liked jazzing blues, classic rock n' roll, driving in cars late at night, and pretending everything will be okay. I was never a feminist, but I adored femininity and kept a long promise with it. Never failed it. Never touched it in a way which it shouldn't be touched. I was often a wanderer. A book reader. A writer. A chaotic minded individual. They say be careful of those who always read books. Nothing about me is calm and well-kept