I honestly admit that I have previously often been guilty of seeking validation and acceptance from others, whether it was my family, colleagues or employers. With that mentality, I found myself at war in my mind, not knowing what I stood for, what I wanted or what gave me satisfaction. I lived for others, you see ... and that is - so far - what I consider a crime we commit to ourselves as human beings.
We all have been there ... we were in love and thought that by changing who we really are, we can make them love us back. It was the feeling of incompleteness alone that drove such thoughts, when in reality, those who deserve our love and affection, would fall in love with us unconditionally. Through the good, and if you are lucky, also through the bad.
I am glad that I figured this mystery early in life, as I am only 21 years old as I write this. I am glad that I feel so complete alone, and loneliness is such a rare visitor, simply because I am at content with myself. How did I achieve this? how can one ever by in silent sense of content with her/him-self? well ... you are your own best friend and only you can answer that.
I can - of course - offer advice based on personal experience, and share how I believe I came to this inner completeness alone.
First of all, one must understand: in order to shed a light inside of you, you must allow yourself to be broken. As much as I hate the metaphor 'broken heart', I find myself using it because 'broken' is the closest word to describe such feeling of heart ache and disappointment. I never thought I would find myself saying this, but I am very glad that I had to go through all the disappointments in my life so far, all the love that I lost, all the anger and blame thrown my way, all the friendships which I thought would last a lifetime, everything that killed me piece by piece, and left me with what I have today.
My family, my weakness, my source of heartache and happiness. I am glad I am part of this messy complication called family.
Falling in love, and eventually out of it, or staying in it if you're one of the rare lucky ones who actually love for eternity.
Everything. Every good and bad situation has taught me to feel complete on my own.
Count your blessings. I do that often; I do believe I am more blessed than most, and I am very grateful for that. I have my morning tea at peace, sleep at peace and have enough to provide enough for my life. I traveled, I lived, and I laugh often. Very often, actually. I love to laugh. Make me laugh and watch me adore you. That itself makes me feel complete: laughter.
What many don't realize is the fact that you would only attract positive company when you least ask for it, when you are happy on your own, when your solitude does not necessarily mean feeling lonely. Fall in love with yourself first, and you will witness how much others will fall in love with you as a result of that.